#Young teenage girl models how to#

Kerner: You also cover a couple of topics that feel very of the moment, which are online image-based evaluative voyeurism and deep fakes. We want our kids to be good people who care about others and take care of their friends. (So) we’ve also got to talk with our kids about not sharing those images. Those kids may not necessarily be sharing images to be abusive or coercive, but it’s illegal to take and share nude images of minors, even when it’s consensual. There’s also really striking data showing that 9% of 9- to 12-year-olds say they’ve forwarded another person’s nude or nearly nude image without permission. It can also involve getting pictures with consent, but then distributing them without consent, or threatening to do so - known as “sextortion.” Our research shows that around 5% of teens say they’ve experienced sextortion and many more have had their images shared. Herbenick: This is an umbrella term that includes aggressive, abusive or coercive acts that involve getting pictures, videos or digital images and then sharing them. Kerner: You also write about image-based sexual abuse, or so-called revenge porn. Whether or not they like it, a lot of people accept it as part of what sex is like today. But we found that most people said it was about being sexually exciting or adventurous or feeling like they’re “kinky.” So, even if they aren’t being pressured by a partner, they get this sense from what they see online that everyone’s doing these super-kinky things, and it’s just how sex is. Herbenick: When we started this research, I thought that maybe being choked was about enhancing arousal or orgasm. Kerner: Are teens doing this for pleasure? Or is it because they think everyone else is doing it? More often, we see young people experiencing recurrent headaches, neck bruising, neck swelling, and vocal changes from choking. It’s very rare, but people can and do sometimes die from being choked or strangled during sex.

But it’s something that we’ve got to learn about, especially because there are risks to it. This is invisible to a lot of adults because we’re not using social media in ways that the algorithm serves up that kind of content. These early red flags predict a partner’s likelihood to become abusive, study finds But now we’re seeing that choking specifically, but other kinds of rough sex, too, is everywhere. This used to be considered a relatively rare practice. Choking is a form of strangulation: It involves placing one or both hands or a forearm or a ligature around the neck to restrict blood flow, airflow or both. My research has shown that close to 40% of women ages 18 to 29 report having been choked during sex. Herbenick: This was a huge motivation for me in writing this book. Kerner: One of the trends you discuss that I found surprising - and, as a parent, a bit triggering - was rough sex and even choking among teens. I’m hoping “Yes, Your Kid” can catch parents up on what sex is like today and support them becoming more comfortable around these difficult topics. My research really focuses on these changing sexual norms. The world has changed so much in terms of technology, internet access, social media platforms, and even the ways that teenagers and young adults are having sex. Part of what compelled me is having a lot of familiarity with many of the parenting books out there that deal with sexuality, but also realizing that we needed an updated version. What compelled you to explore the topic of teens and sex?ĭebby Herbenick: I’m a sex researcher and educator, but I’m also a mom. Ian Kerner: I consider you one of the country’s most credible sources of accurate scientific information when it comes to sexuality. This conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity. To give us some much-needed guidance, I sat down with Debby Herbenick, a researcher and professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health, whose new book, “ Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex,” was just published.

#Young teenage girl models how to#

Many kids won’t even tell their parents about their day or come out of their rooms, so how do we get them to open up about sex? As parents, we need to know how to initiate these difficult and daunting conversations, and we need to understand what today’s teen is up against. While it’s easy to blame social media and the internet for these unsettling trends, parents and schools also play a part. To inoculate against what teens may search for or stumble into online, they need to receive quality sex education at school and have non-shaming conversations at home. Nude photos: What we may have once viewed as “adult” topics are now commonplace in high school circles - and even among some younger kids, too.